Dr.Tony Evans once said, “There are three rings in marriage, the Wedding Ring, the Engagement Ring and the Suffering.” Although this statement has some humor to it, it also contains a whole lot of truth.When we become husbands, we are called by God to love our wives like Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Understanding the calling God has placed on husbands calls for us to be transformed in our hearts, minds and actions. In other words, we have to change the way we lead our wives and families. This is why in Luke 22:26 Jesus says, “Let the leader become as one who serves.” God is calling on husbands to demonstrate Christlike serving in our homes.
According to John Piper, in his article titled, “Husbands Who Love Like Christ and the Wives Who Submit To Them, Therefore, headship is not a right to command and control. It’s a responsibility to love like Christ: to lay down your life for your wife in servant leadership (www.desiringGod.org).” This requires a level of discipline most of us have yet to master. Which leads us back to the suffering that is required in denying ones own desires and placing our wife’s needs before our own. We have to learn to find joy in the process of being transformed and following God’s plan for our lives and marriages.